Harry Potter and the Secret of the Insane Niffler
by Justagirlcalledbob
Summary: Insanity, Nifflers, and a very old crazy pureblood family long thought lost. What's all that got to do with Snape and the Marauders? Find out inside! Rated R for insanity, swearing, and randomness


Title: Harry Potter and the secret of the Niffler.

Pairings: none yet but we'll see.

Basic plot: There was an extra student sorted during the Marauders first year. 5th year after 4 years of insanity, she disappears and is thought dead by all but the Marauders and Snape. Many years later, during a certain chat between one Harry Potter, Sirius Black, and Albus Dumbledore, she reappears in a flash of light. What happened to her? Why's she come back now?

Disclaimers: I no owny Harry Potter, or anything you recognize.

* * *

PROLOGUE

* * *

The students of Hogwarts waited bored, for the sorting to be over. The soon-to-be marauders sans James were chatting amongst themselves, having been sorted already. 

"Pinksten, Molly!" McGonagall shouted, going pale. Most of the pureblood students also paled, and whispers broke out.

"What's wrong?" Peter Pettigrew asked, confused. Sirius gave him a horrified look.

"The Pinkstens are this wicked old pure blood family, feared by both dark and light wizards. Everyone in Europe was relieved when they relocated to America a while back. They're well known throughout the wizarding world because of what the entire family often shares in common!" He hissed quietly, and Peter gave him a confused look.

"What do they share in common?" He asked, as a loud voice yelled something that sounded like:

"FREAKIN' FINALLY! I NEARLY DIED OF BOREDOOM!" The hall looked at the source, shocked. It was a scruffy looking blonde girl with sharp ice blue eyes. Sirius grimaced, as she raced up to the stool.

"They're completely stark-raving bonkers." He told Peter, who stared at the girl with fright. She snatched the hat from a pale and shaking McGonagall and plopped it on her head. Everyone and everything went quite, each house praying they wouldn't get her.

"Good god, what is wrong with you girl?" The Hat suddenly shouted angrily, and the girl giggled maniacally.

"Many things, but you could say I know too much, too soon!" She sang brightly, there was a definite smirk in her tone. The hat huffed, before shouting;

"Slytherin!" The Slytherin table groaned in resignation, as the girl gave the hat back to McGonagall and prowled towards the serpents table.

"One final word girl…Do not try to change their fate. You will be killed if you do." The hat warned suddenly, and the girl froze. Her face darkened into a somewhat murderous expression that had most of the hall shaking in fear. A minute later, she had shaken it off and sat herself at the Slytherin Table.

Sirius watched as she attempted to strike up conversation with her housemates, only to be quite violent rejected. She looked stunned. One of 6th years, who Sirius knew to be Lucius Malfoy, actually struck her across the face. The girl fell to the floor, and felt her cheek, her eyes shadowed. She stood up, and fled the room. Dumbledore looked alarmed, and sent the DADA professor after her. Sirius frowned, wondering just what the hat meant by 'Their fate'.

* * *

4 years later

* * *

I ignored the looks I got from my housemates and the rest of the school as I sat down at the Hufflepuff table, to chat with my pals George and Tom, who were 4th years. See, ever since the first day I got here, I've only been able to make friends with lower years with a few exceptions, due to the treatment from my _OH SO LOVELY HOUSEMATES_. FUCKING BIGOTS! 

"Momo, you alright?" George asked quietly, calling me by one of my nicknames, and I blinked, looking confusedly at him. George's very tall, with dark brown hair and eyes. Tom is shorter then me, with black hair and purple eyes. He's wicked light, so I give him piggy back rides every now and then.

"Yeah, yeah, just thinkin' bout da past. And wondering bout da future." I mumbled, noticing yet again, that the Marauders were looking my way. I smirked, and waved at them. Fortunately, I was also friends with them. I turned back to my breakfast, listening to my two young friends babble.

* * *

I peeked out the door of my common room, and saw someone gesturing at me from the shadows. I ran over, and glomped the person standing there. It was Severus Snape. He and I had become friends in our second year, due to me secretly treating the injuries he had gotten from some of the 7th years attacking him. 

"FINALLY! I've been bloody waiting forever for you, Takara!" He hissed, smiling at me. I smirked back, Takara Ryoushi was my nickname. Sev and I had stolen the idea of becoming animaguses from the marauders, and we even had our own nicknames.

"Shut it, Veleno! Blame our oh-so-lovely housemates!" I shot back, and he scowled at me.

"C'mon, let's go. I want to explore the forest some more." I ordered quietly, grabbing him by the arm, and speeding away.

* * *

The forbidden forest was silent. Unusually silent. There was no ambiance at all as a niffler and an Anaconda sped throughout the forest. The niffler was making cute squeaking noises, and seemed to be hyper. The Anaconda seemed to be a mixture of amusement and exasperation. 

Suddenly, a howl echoed throughout the air.

The two animals froze, before they transformed into Severus Snape and Molly Pinksten.

"Do you know what that was?" Snape asked his female friend, and she nodded, paling.

"We've got to get deeper into the forest! NOW!" She snarled, grabbing him by the arm, and racing deeper into the trees. He obliged, and soon enough they were deep into the forest.

"Bloody fuckin' great, now we're lost." Snape growled, glaring at the niffler Animagus, who glared back.

"Shut up." She growled back, before freezing. Snape whirled around, and saw what she had frozen about. A group of tall figures in black cloaks wearing skull masks stood there, their wands pointed at the duo. Suddenly, some of the group shifted, as LORD VOLDEMORT HIMSELF STEPPED IN FRONT OF THE DEATH EATERS.

"Oh, today's just not our fuckin day, is it." Molly dead-panned, shoving Snape behind her. Said boy gave her an incredulous look. Voldemort laughed coldly, and with a flourish, withdrew his wand from his robes. Molly stared, her eyes twitching. Voldemort smirked, thinking he had scared her speechless. Oh, if only that were true. Molly exploded.

"BWHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHAT THE FUCK MAN?? ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING?? I MEAN, SERIOUSLY!! WHAT KINDA MORON TAKES OUT THEIR WAND WITH A-A-A FUCKING FLOURISH?? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!" She howled, as she rolled on the ground laughing. The Death eaters were dumbstruck. Snape was dead from shock. And Voldemort? He wore a look that would remind oneself of a dead baby whale. At least, that's what it looked like if you were insane. If you weren't ol' Voldie had a look of pure astonishment and rage.

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU MUDBLOOD WHORE!!" He snarled, darting forward and backhanding Molly. Her giggles stopped, and she smirked at him defiantly.

"Newsflash, snake butt. I ain't no muggle-born. I'm…" She paused, for dramatic effect. Snape seemed to be concerned for her life/sanity. Voldemort and the DES waited with baited breath.

"I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!" She roared, scaring the hell out of the Death Eaters. Voldemort just looked confused. Snape had gone over to the nearest tree, and was banging his head upon it. Voldemort shook his head, and shot a bright green curse at her. She grimaced, and let it hit her.

"I SHALL NEVER DIE FOO!" She yelled, before disappearing in a bright flash of silver light.

* * *

Anyone one else with the opinion of, WHUT? hahahahah. READ AND REVIEW, OR I SHALL POUR GLITTER ON YOU AND SEND A HORDE OF NIFFLERS AFTER YOUSE GUYS. 


End file.
